School Refusal: Seven Steps for Parents, What the School Must Do and How Attendance Rules Apply
School refusal, now usually called emotionally based school avoidance (EBSA) by schools and councils, is when a child finds it so hard to go to school because of anxiety or distress that they cannot get through the door, even though they want to and you want them to. It is not truancy and it is not a diagnosis. It is a sign that something is wrong, at school or inside the child, and it gets harder to fix the longer it goes on. This page sets out seven practical steps for parents, what the school and council should do under the Department for Education's attendance guidance, and how fines, part-time timetables and health-needs education fit in.
What school refusal looks like
It often starts small: stomach aches or headaches on school mornings that ease at weekends and in the holidays, tears or anger at bedtime on Sunday, asking to be collected early, or refusing one particular lesson. Over weeks it can turn into partial attendance and then into not going at all. Common triggers include anxiety, bullying or friendship problems, unmet special educational needs, sensory overload in a busy school, a move from primary to secondary, bereavement or family change. Autistic children and children with ADHD are often overrepresented, which is why SEN support matters so much here.
School refusal is different from truancy, where a child misses school without the parent's knowledge and usually without distress, and from a parent choosing to keep a child at home. That difference matters when it comes to fines and how the school records the absence.
Seven steps for parents
- Contact the school straight away. Tell the head of year, form tutor or pastoral lead what is happening, and ask for the SENCO to be involved if you think there is an unmet need. Early action works far better than waiting for the problem to pass.
- Keep a simple diary. Note each day: how the morning went, what your child says is worrying them, what time they got in, and what helped. Patterns, such as one day of the week or one lesson, point to the cause.
- Ask for a meeting and a written plan. The plan should name the triggers, the adjustments the school will make, a key adult your child can go to, how you and the school will communicate, and a review date.
- Agree small, specific adjustments. Examples include arriving before the crowds, a quiet place to go at break, a pass to leave a lesson, a change of seat or form group, or a gradual return starting with favourite lessons.
- See your GP. A GP can rule out physical causes, assess anxiety or low mood and refer to children's mental health services. Ask for any letter to describe how the condition affects school attendance.
- Look at SEN support. If there is an underlying need, ask what SEN support the school will put in place. If support over time is not enough, you can ask the council for an EHC needs assessment yourself.
- Keep the door open at home. Keep school-day routines, such as getting up and dressed, even on days your child stays home, and avoid making home more appealing than school during school hours. Calm, consistent expectations help more than battles at the front door.
What the school should do
The DfE's statutory guidance, Working together to improve school attendance, expects schools to work with families to understand the barriers behind poor attendance and to put support in place before considering formal action. Every school should have a senior leader responsible for attendance. In practice that means a meeting with you, a plan with named adjustments and regular reviews, and help from outside services such as the council's attendance or early help teams, an educational psychologist or mental health support teams where the school has one.
The DfE uses two thresholds that schools track closely: a pupil who misses 10% or more of sessions is persistently absent, and one who misses 50% or more is severely absent. Severe absence should trigger the most intensive joint support from the school and the council.
Part-time timetables
A reduced or part-time timetable can help a child rebuild attendance step by step. Under the DfE guidance it must be agreed with you, it should be in place for the shortest time necessary, and it should have a start date, an end date and regular reviews, with a plan for building back to full time. It is not meant to be used to manage behaviour. If you are asked to agree to one, ask what support will be given during the hours your child is in, and when it will be reviewed.
Will I be fined if my child refuses school?
Fines are for unauthorised absence. Only the school can decide whether an absence is authorised, and illness, including mental health difficulties, is normally authorised. The national rules mean a penalty notice must be considered once a child reaches 10 sessions of unauthorised absence within 10 school weeks, as our guide to school attendance fines explains. If your child's absence is being recorded as unauthorised, ask the school why, and give them your diary and any medical evidence. The guidance expects support to come first, and fines are unlikely to be appropriate where a family is working with the school on a genuine attendance barrier. Our page on school attendance rules explains the codes in detail.
When a child is too unwell to attend
If anxiety or another health condition means your child cannot attend school at all for a long period, the local council has a legal duty under section 19 of the Education Act 1996 to arrange suitable full-time education, or as much as the child's health allows. The DfE's guidance on education for children with health needs who cannot attend school expects the council to act as soon as it is clear the child will be away for 15 days or more, whether in one block or added up over the year. Provision might be home tuition, online lessons or a hospital or medical needs school. Ask the school to contact the council's medical needs service, and keep copies of all medical evidence.
Some families decide to home educate. That is a legal option, but if your child is on the roll of a school, taking them off removes the council's section 19 duty and often the SEN support that comes with school, so get advice first.
Where to get help
- Your council's SEND Information, Advice and Support Service (SENDIASS), which is free and impartial.
- Your GP and, through them, children's mental health services.
- Our guides to autism support at school, ADHD support at school and bullying if one of these is behind the anxiety.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is school refusal?
School refusal, often called emotionally based school avoidance or EBSA, is when anxiety or distress makes it very hard for a child to attend school. It is not truancy and not a diagnosis, but a sign that the child needs support.
Can I be fined if my child refuses to go to school?
Fines apply to unauthorised absence, and the school decides how an absence is recorded. Illness, including mental health difficulties, is normally authorised. Work with the school, keep a diary and share medical evidence.
Can a school put my child on a part-time timetable?
Only with your agreement. DfE guidance says a part-time timetable should last the shortest time necessary, have start and end dates and regular reviews, and should not be used to manage behaviour.
What if my child cannot go to school at all because of anxiety?
If a health condition stops your child attending, the council must arrange suitable education under section 19 of the Education Act 1996, and should act once it is clear the child will miss 15 days or more.
Should I take my child out of school to home educate?
It is a legal option, but removing your child from the school roll ends the council's section 19 duty and often the SEN support linked to school. Get advice from your local SENDIASS first.
More guides for parents on the Schools Insight homepage.